蒼涼的苦澀

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reenex
“If it concerned only me,” she said, “willingly would I have suffered in silence, never would I have raised my voice against my sovereign. But your sons must be thought of, Claes. If you continue to dissipate your property, no matter how glorious the object you have in view the world will take little account of it, it will only blame you and yours. But surely, it is enough for a man of your noble nature that his wife has shown him a danger he did not perceive. We will talk of this no more,” she cried, with a smile and a glance of coquetry. “To-night, my Claes, let us not be less than happy.”


On the morrow of this evening so eventful for the Claes family, Balthazar, from whom Josephine had doubtless obtained some promise as to the cessation of his researches, remained in the parlor, and did not enter his laboratory. The succeeding day the household prepared to move into the country, where they stayed for more than two months, only returning to town in time to prepare for the fete which Claes determined to give, as in former years reenex , to commemorate his wedding-day. He now began by degrees to obtain proof of the disorder which his experiments and his indifference had brought into his business affairs.

Madame Claes, far from irritating the continually found remedies for the evil that was done. Of the seven servants who customarily served the family, there now remained only Lemulquinier, Josette the cook, and an old waiting-woman reenex , named Martha, who had never left her mistress since the latter left her convent. It was of course impossible to give a fete to the whole society of Douai with so few servants, but Madame Claes overcame all difficulties by proposing to send to Paris for a cook, to train the gardener’s son as a waiter, and to borrow Pierquin’s manservant. Thus the pinched circumstances of the family passed unnoticed by the community.

During the twenty days of preparation for the fete, Madame Claes was cleverly able to outwit her husband’s listlessness. She commissioned him to select the rarest plants and flowers to decorate the grand staircase, the gallery, and the salons; then she sent him to Dunkerque to order one of those monstrous fish which are the glory of the burgher tables in the northern departments. A fete like that the Claes were about to give is a serious affair reenex cps, involving thought and care and active correspondence, in a land where traditions of hospitality put the family honor so much at stake that to servants as well as masters a grand dinner is like a victory won over the guests. Oysters arrived from Ostend, grouse were imported from Scotland, fruits came from Paris; in short, not the smallest accessory was lacking to the hereditary luxury.  

“後來，我總算學會了如何去愛，可惜你，早已遠去，消失在人海;後來，終於在眼淚中明白，有些人，一旦錯過就不在……”

午後校園廣播裏播放著我再熟悉不過的歌曲，劉若英的《後來》。

與以往不同的是，伴隨著開頭這段惋惜與悲悸的旋律，坐在落葉紛紛長椅上的我，淚，早已決了堤…

你在最美的季節離開了我，留下的只剩回憶，可時間流逝的太快，來不及回頭，就已經翻了一頁。

與你的相知相識，在我心裏永遠都是一個暖暖的曾經。

那是一個落日的黃昏。坐在喧鬧教室一角的我透過玻璃窗望向了黃昏後那片美得心醉的殘霞，夕陽的餘暉朦朧的倒映在我的臉上，唯美而又哀傷。

我獨自一人沉浸在自己的內心世界裏，突然，只見閨蜜興奮得像打了雞血似的，拽著我的手就往教室門口跑去。我疑惑，卻又早已習慣了這樣一個閨蜜。

穿過重重人群，閨蜜拽著我來到了校心花園的那棵梧桐樹下駐足。那裏聚集了很多人，你被重重人群圍住，像極了一個倍受歡迎的寵兒。閨蜜踮起腳尖，卯足了勁伸頭觀看，她說，你是她心目中的男神，我在一旁笑而不語。

我們擠進了人群，那是我初見你的場景，你手裏拿著把精美酷斃的電子吉他，專心致志地唱著我最愛的《後來》，微風掠起你柔美的發線，你是那樣的俊美，透著一股淡淡的儒雅氣質，略帶了一絲憂。

我聽得入迷，更看到著迷。、

我沉醉在了你的世界裏。

我想我永遠也忘不了你曲畢之後對我說出的那幾個字：“，我喜歡你。”

當時人群一片喧嘩，閨蜜瞪大了眼睛在一旁不可思議的看著我。而你卻面帶微笑，如日本動漫裏一幅唯美的圖畫，那樣美好。我呆呆的站在原地與你注視著，眼裏閃過一絲驚瀾，我與你素不相識，我有點不知所措，我有點受寵若驚。當時的我腦裏一片空白，直到你那群哥們在一旁起哄大喊“在一起！在一起！”的愛情口號，才讓我初醒。然後，緋紅迅速襲上臉頰……

閨蜜後來一直小小抱怨我為什麼不告訴她我與你相識，我百口莫辯，她卻堅信我們是青梅竹馬或是兩小無猜，呵呵！她這個人呐。

後來，你總是以最積極的態度來接觸我，閨蜜說，這樣的我總是羨煞旁人。

可她或是你，卻並不懂我，你越熱情，我越害怕、越不安。因為，我是殘缺女孩，我自卑，我不夠完美……

直到有一天。

“你知道嗎？辰曦也不看看自己，一個殘缺的花瓶也配和楊奕在一起，真臭不要臉……”這句話像根刺一樣刺進裏我的耳朵裏，紮疼的卻是我的心……說這句話的，是我的好友，你瞧，她是這樣的尖酸刻薄，她甚至不知道，那句話，沉重的打擊了我的自尊心。

面對你一如既往的貼切，心裏那個“分離”的念頭正在慢慢侵蝕我的心……

我優柔寡斷，在意她人的看法，更在意你對我的看法。

最終，當我決絕地甩開你的手的那一刻，你落下了淚，失望的淚。你一定認為我是那種視愛為戲的女孩吧，可你殊不知，每往前走一步的我心快要痛到窒息。

我想到如今，你也不知道我為什麼與你分離，這也成為了我們之間的一個秘密，藏進了時光裏的回憶裏。

自那以後，我墜入了長長永無止境的思念，她們說思念是糖，可卻甜的如此悲傷…

而今，聽著《後來》，我這才恍然醒悟：自你離開後，我竟變成了那個孤獨的思念者。我不得不承認，我一直深愛著你。

再不把殘缺看作醜陋的面孔；再也不會在意他人的看法；再也不會感到自卑；再也不會對愛感到不安…然而，你在最美的季節離開了我，待我回頭，一切都已面目全非…

從此，我心裏住著一個早已走遠了的你。